Al and her crazy ideas...

BEFORE YOU READ... just know that the pictures displayed are AFTER my 2 hour work-outs at the gym. I look like CRAP! so don't make FUN.

I've been meaning to post about this for a long time. I've reached my HELL-WEEK and I can feel my strength, energy and brain slowing down. I've hit my head about 6 times today on walls and chairs... I've tripped and fallen bout 3 times... I've lost some concentration and comprehension... and I'm more than irritable. What's going on? you ask. I've entered myself into a contest... a FIGURE COMPETITION.

For those who don't know... Figure Competitions are kind of like Body Building contest... except not really. There ARE Body Builders in the show... but it's considered a different class and I will not be competing against them. FIGURE is not about muscles and being shredded, but about looking feminine, lean and strong. You lose points for being too muscly/masculine.

How did I get myself into this?... I ask myself this question regularly. Well, it all began a couple years ago. As you might know, I go to the gym quite often... love it there... and I have a lot of friends there. I watched some of my friends... Dana and Quincy, to name a couple... as they'd go through their training and I remember thinking how AMAZING they looked. They were FIGURE competitors. I asked my friend, Ashley, HOW these girls got to be this way. She told me it was lots of exercise and a crazy diet... no sugar, no trans-fat, and only complex carbs. That's when I decided to go off sugar... that was something I could handle. I know what does and does not have sugar... I'd start there.

So I did. Now, there's sugar in just about everything... so I made a rule: nothing with more that 10 grams of sugar. July 2008 was the LAST time I had a dessert. It was hard at first, but honestly, after the first 2 weeks, I didn't look back. It was amazing to me to see how FAST the fat melted off me! People told me how much I had changed and how quickly. When other people notice... THAT is your reward. I FELT GREAT!

Then I had someone... her name is Carrie... ask me if I would ever compete in a FIGURE competition. I had never thought about it before... I didn't really know what that even meant... and I certainly had NO idea HOW. She told me a little about it and I just kinda shrugged it off. Sounded fun... but difficult... I'd think about it. I shoved the thought into the back of my mind... and it's been in the back of my mind for a while now. Maybe one day I'd find the courage.

A few months went by and I'd get asked every once in a while if I was doing a FIGURE completion. So, now it was on the BRAIN. People told me how EASY it would be for me and how much I'd love it and how great it felt to accomplish such a huge goal.... blah, blah, blah. I made a deal with myself that if ONE more person asked me if I was competing that I WOULD. It happened the next day. OK... I'm in!

So I started asking around... what kind of diet do I need?... what sort of exercising?... what do I wear?... how do I DO THIS?! That's when I was introduced to my girl... Karli. Karli is the sweetest, kindest, most sincere person I've ever met and she wanted to help me. Karli did a show last spring and won 2nd place. (first place went to Andrea... a girl Karli and her husband TRAINED!) She knows how to do this. She put me on a diet and helped me learn how to walk and pose and just explained the whole thing to me. She even took me shoe shopping! If nothing else, I've made a good friend out of this. Actually I've made a LOT of friends out of this. I have so much support from people at the gym who want to help me... who want to see me succeed.

Anyway...that's how this all got started. I've been exercising for years... but never with a goal. NOW, I have something to shoot for. For me, this experience has been about self-mastery and wheel-power. I've gotten to know my body. I know I store sugar in my upper body... I store milk products in my tummy area and extra carbs in my thighs and butt. I love to feel the energy surge through me about 8 minutes after I eat an apple. I love to see my muscles fill up after I eat carbs... bodies are incredible.

There is a spiritual side to all this... It's hard for me to understand people who don't believe in God. There are too many coincidences... too many things that are too perfect and too complicated for happenstance. I would never have KNOWN how much our bodies DO for us if I hadn't entered this crazy competition. I would never have known exactly what a GIFT our bodies are and that our Heavenly Father truly, truly, truly LOVES us. It's hard for me to talk about without getting teary-eyed. I will always be grateful for this incredible machine that I have been trusted with... I will always and forever respect this body.

CHANGE THE SUBJECT... I get a lot of questions about this whole thing... let me see if I can answer any you might have.

The most common question... WHAT DO YOU EAT? Well diet is about 70% of this. Here's a typical day's diet at 8-4 weeks out from the competition: Breakfast... a serving of OATMEAL with almonds (and I LOVE IT... I don't think I'll give that up after the competition.) Then a PROTEIN DRINK. For lunch... TUNA FISH and BROWN RICE and an APPLE. Snack... HARD BOILED EGGS (usually 2) and CELERY. Dinner... grilled CHICKEN (little seasoning.) BROWN PASTA with a dressing-less SALAD. PROTEIN DRINK before bed. I could also eat BLACK BEANS, YAMS, and AVOCADOS. I eat very little FRUIT (too much sugar), NO MILK and low SALT. Throughout the day I have to drink a GALLON of WATER and have about 120g of PROTEIN. This is NOT considered a HEALTHY DIET. It's just the way to get out all the JUNK under your skin and inside your muscles.

A couple weeks ago, I started the PROTEIN-SWAP diet. One day, a diet like I described before and the next day only the morning oatmeal CARBS. This is a BODY SHOCKER diet... the more you SHOCK your body, the more calories you burn.

Now... tomorrow... I'm starting HELL WEEK. I have to cut my carbs WAY down. I only get my morning OATMEAL and that's IT for carbs. (DANG... I LOVE CARBS!)I'm drinking a gallon of water a day, but that decreases each day until Friday when I'm only drinking about 1.5 cups for the entire day. (DANG... I LOVE WATER, TOO!!) This diet wouldn't be so bad, but since I still need to work out... it's really going to be tough. The cool part is... on Saturday, before the show, I get to CARB LOAD and WATER LOAD. The idea is to starve the muscles so much that when they get carbs and water again, they just SOAK them up and look better than they really are. (SEE how AMAZING our bodies ARE!! I'm also amazed at all the science behind it!!) I'm TOLD that you can actually SEE your muscles swell. I'll be sure to BLOG it! :)

Another question I'm frequently asked... DO YOU HAVE TO WEAR A BIKINI? The answer is YES. It's not exactly a bikini... it is called a POSING SUIT and is made specifically for these contests. They run from $300 to $1,000 and are usually pretty sparkly. I am renting mine... it's purple with rind stones. They have strings that cross in the back and attach to the bottoms so your LATS are nicely displayed and they are cut really... and I mean REALLY... high above the hips so they flatter the hip-flexors. (they look straight out of the 80's..UGLY!!) So, yes... it's a bikini... but not a sexy one by any means.

People ask a lot about POSING. In Figure, you never flex your arms above your head or bring your arms together in a chest flex. It's really all about being feminine and looking symmetrical and balanced. We have to gracefully walk on stage one at a time... sucking in our tummies and sticking out our booties. We will stop and strike a pose at 3 different (judge-picked) spots...2 side poses and one front/back pose.... and we have to look like we're having the time of our lives! Then we have MANDATORIES. We line up across the stage and try to make our muscles look the tightest and strongest we can. We do front, then side, then back, then other side. Our shoulders have to be square, our heels touching each other, our muscles tight and flexed, our faces relaxed and smiling and NO shaking. We do these mandatory circles over and over... maybe 50 times!... until the judged are happy with their judgements. I'm told it's a pretty difficult work out.

I am asked if I would ever do it again. Honestly, I don't know... I haven't had the pay-off yet. If the show is really fun and I do well... then I might think about it again. If I do horrible and it's not fun... then NO WAY! I'm way too hungry today to have it turn out bad.

Well, anyway... that's what I've been up to lately. Thanks for READING! I'll for sure be blogging about Saturday... so stay tuned.

Quote of the Week...

Quote of the Week...

Finally...

It finally came! Bear watched Disco go to school for YEARS and finally his turn arrived. For days... maybe weeks... he'd ask me, "when I go to school?". It's hard to explain to a pre-schooler why his brother gets to start 2 weeks before he does. (I was counting the days, too, kid!) Anyway... Bear was on the potty when he heard Disco yell, "bye Mom!" and slam the door. He spazzed! He thought he was being LEFT behind! So he jumped off the toilet and grabbed his backpack and took off. I caught him on the porch.

He looked like this...Not quite ready for school. I KNOW we did more school shopping that THAT!!

Anyway, we got him dressed and fed took him to school.

I was surprised by how NOT sad he was... I MADE him walk with me to the door and MADE him hug me goodbye. He was MORE than ready and MORE than excited! (I'm glad... makes it easier on mom.) I love you, Bear!

Quote of the Week...

I've taken the summer off... but now I'm back and so are the QUOTES of the WEEK.

Seriously... I could use 2 birthdays a year, too.

(as long as I can stay in my 20s!!)

GO UTES!!

And I thought the church couldn't get any more TRUE!!

Grade K

Yesterday was Jack's REAL first day of school. (The other day didn't count, in my opinion. One hour with your parents... that's not school.) Jack woke up a little nervous... but didn't complain. I took him into class, stayed a few minutes to snap a few pictures, then said goodbye. When I went to pick him up he was the first kid out of the building. He ran up to me... threw his arms around me and said, "Mom I LOVED it!" PHEW!! What a relief to both of us!I'm excited for Jack. I know he'll do well.

FINE.. I will!

So, I've been taking a lot of (deserved) crap for ignoring our family BLOG. All I have to say is that I'm lazy... so sue me. We have been having a lot of fun this summer and we can't believe it's almost the END of AUGUST! Where did the time go? Our summer was filled with a lot of CHERRY HILL... a lot of CAPRISUNS... a lot of FIRE PITS... a lot of MOVIE nights... and a lot of FRIENDS. We took a trip or two, also. (I'm scrapbooking those... they'll be posted at a later date.) The summer of '09 was a great success and we're not very happy to see it at a close. Back to real life... like sleeping in our own beds, HOMEWORK (yuck!!), and schedules. Jackson will start KINDERGARTEN in a week (sniff sniff) and Porter's PRE-SCHOOL will start soon after. Hopefully that means I will be able to keep the house a little cleaner and a little more organized and MAYBE I'll be able catch up this BLOG.

I've got to post a few pictures... how BORING without, right? PLUS, my mom wants that snake I posted several months ago to slither it's way down the screen and disappear, so she can listen to my PLAYLIST without seeing it. (Penny is sooo cute!) Anyway, here are a few pictures I snapped at the beginning of the summer... one of the first days it wasn't raining and the kids were sooooo excited to play.

I love those 2 boys on the bottom looking at each other. They're such good buddies.

Well, I did it! I POSTED a little ditty on the ol' blog. Thanks for reading!

the CAPTAIN

It's amazing what a nice RENTED camera lens can do for you. The other day, I had one and was walking down Main Street in Ogden. Several people stopped me and asked me what kind of camera/lens I had, blah, blah... I totally made stuff up to look smart. Anyway, I met this big huge BROTHER, who stopped me and asked me about my business. He told me he was also a photographer and said he charged $3,000+ for weddings. Then he said he'd pass people my way, if they couldn't afford him. (thanks... I think?) He handed me his business card and told me to email him my info. I took the card... not thinking much about it. When I got home and pulled the card out of my pocket, I was intrigued. Here it is... I bleeped out his number and email... just because I know this is NOT someone I want to make mad. Gosh, I wish I had taken a better LOOK at Captain Midnight's business card when I was actually WITH him... then I'd have KNOWN I was speaking to a SUPER HERO! (or a super psycho... depending on which way you look at it.)

Sweet.

Meet Yzma...

It has BEGUN! I know summer is HERE because we found our first SNAKE of the season. YUCK! I didn't get a picture of it until AFTER Spence put it down the storm drain.

Here he is... Hurts my crotch!